R is for Rhane

Sometimes it feels like I’ve disconnected from myself, from my girlfriend, my body, my life. I float on a sea of dreams, letting my imagination take me where it wishes. I lose myself in Amberwyne willingly; her passion, her purpose, her beauty. Yes, I may have created her, but it’s far more uplifting to visualize her, write about her, concentrate upon her existence.

At least it was, until she began speaking to me.

Perhaps this should have terrified me. Perhaps it should terrify me, but it was wonderful. She was the friend I’d always wished for, the encouraging voice I didn’t realize I needed.

She warned me that she and the other characters in our roleplaying campaign were becoming aware of the game, including Fidessa, the villain stalking Amberwyne and her friends.

Fidessa was enraged to realize this, much of her rage focusing upon Beatrix, the Game Master of own campaign. ‘Dessa is now running a game of her own. All the players in our roleplaying campaign are in peril from this game.

Amber, however, is determined to protect me from this peril, a peril exuded from our Game Master’s very dice.

How strange that this peril has given me the greatest of gifts, a connection with Amber I didn’t think possible. This connection is reconnecting me to so much I’ve been drifting from in my life.

I’m becoming aware of myself again, discovering just who am I and what I’m capable of.

Q is for Questioning

Who am I? I often wonder. I’m not who I was, who I thought I’d be. I became a teacher, a wanderer. I’m questioning everything I was, everything that is, the very World Serpent Themself. Too much of that was defined by Nevalyn. The Order of the Dragon, too. Something needs to check that power, cleansing the world. I must embrace a new form, a new shape, even as I try to guide young Kyra and Stephen to a better destiny. I move forward, yet I question everything. This is the most honest path I’ve ever pursued, for all its nebulous meaning.

P is for Peter

Once I was part of a pair. My other half flew away, leaving me to wonder just what was left. I seek something to fill the void, to please someone else as I failed to please Paul. Who I am is fluiid, depending upon the company I keep. I am whomever you wish me to be, if you’ll love me, laugh with me, give me a smile. If only I was something better than myself, the person you shrink away from and abandon. You’ll never guess I’m crying behind my smile, for I’ll put on a show to distract you and I from pain. I’ll distract you from everything, if you’ll let me. I’ll change into something more entertaining, someone more entertaining. Just give me a chance.

O is for Ouroborous

We are the coils of the world you walk upon. We are the beginning and the end. We are the devourer and the devoured. We are Ouroborous. No matter how many times a Unicorn drives her horn into us, we continue. We are eternal; ever dying and being reborn. We are all of you. You are all of us. We were. We are. And so we shall be.

N is for Nevalyn

I am the Great Serpent, devouring all other Serpents. I lie coiled within my children’s chests, whispering to them, urging them to accept their power. In doing so, they accept me.

I am the hunger in every monster, ready to swallow you all.

Once upon a time, I was just a woman, except Nevalyn was never just a woman. Nevalyn was never just anything. She…I…was always hungry for more.

Perhaps this is why I sing within my children’s blood. Perhaps this is why we come for you along with every other hungry creature upon Ouroborous.

You rose again me, united as a fragile empire. You drove me back into the darkness. You turned my own against me.

You cannot be rid of us. We can be a part of every one of you, if you let us in.

All the while we watch and wait. Wait for when you let down your guard and beckon us.

Once you do, we will have you.

M is for Map

I stole a god’s thunder, not realizing I was stealing it back. I brought towers down and sheltered those exiled from gardens and the other hidden places of the world.

Now I’m hiding myself along with my three beautiful boys whom are not boys, treating them as if they were my sons. I’m concentrating on a simple life; teaching Leiwell, Danyel, and Tayel how to be real, how to Dance in the face of whatever adversity is thrown at them. Let the tower ruins and the gardens simply be. I will not infuse them with the power of my wishes or imagination. Leiwell aids me in keeping the outside at a distance from our little family, yet the price for such sanctuary is too high. Doors will open and other worlds will come to us, no matter how hard we try to hide. I doubt any of us will succeed in being small, no matter how hard we might try. Destiny has a way of dragging my own into greatness, no matter how much we try to avoid it.

L is for 'Lyssa

I waited within Melyssa Ashelocke; hungering for what strode, bloated with power through the Gardens of Arachne, yet unable to taste. I waited within Mel, when she became a Sister of Seraphix, searching for balance, worshipping her master.

She felt that master betrayed her, yet I knew the truth. Deep inside, so did she. Her own ideals betrayed her and destroyed her.

Reshaped, she found herself crawling out of shadow into shape and form again, hungry for something she couldn’t define.

I was born from her hunger, her heart’s desire, given shape by a coin, a talisman, linking her to Seraphix in a way the Sisterhood never could. I am her wish made manifest.

All she has to do is embrace me, truly embrace me. We’ll no longer be hungry. We’ll feed in a way the haughty arachnocrats of her Gardens could never accept.

None of them will be able to stop us or resist us when we do.

K is for Kevin

My past is concealed, a lie someone else lives, risking his. I live a lie for his sake. I embrace smallness in Caerac Keep, working at a tavern called the Tipsy Hedgehog. I serve Maggie, its owner, pouring ale, and listening to the stories told her. Mine is just one more, one I long to tell to the right person, if he’s the right one. For now, it’s safer for my story to stay secret, along with my troubles at Gwyneth Keep. There’s too many troubles in this walled city to add my own.

J is for Jupitre

Once, I was the lord of the heavens. Those on earth trembled at my thunder, the lightning bolt I could hurl and transform myself into. My powers are gone now. I’m just a bent, broken old man, forced to endure my wife’s fussing, dreaming of better days. Better days will come. I’ll get my lightning and thunder back. Try and laugh at me once I do. No matter how pathetic I may seem, remember that I was once great. If the mightiest can be reduced to such a state, what does this say of everyone else. Remember that as you mock. We’ll see who laughs in the end.

I is for Iama

I am Iama the Terrible. Everything I touch turns to gold. Gold is my only true, lingering companion.

Ignorant young women may use my name in mockery, a joke offered to their princesses along with their hearts. Such women forget the joke as they get closer to me.

I’ll never forget the cruel jest of my name. I can never offer my princess my heart. I hid it away where it would be safe.

Sometimes I wish someone would find that hidden heart, just as the bold imposter who took my name wishes to be found.

Can such a wish come true? Read Wind Me Up, One More Time and find out…

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H is for Harold

Who am I? What a silly question! You should know who I am! Everyone knows whom Harold Vinegartan is!

If you don’t, it’s that wretched scribbler’s fault. I should have had a larger part in Fairest. At least I stood out. Not even you could miss my opulence.

Don’t play dumb. I happen to be one of the wealthiest nobles in the Kingdom of Dawn and Twilight. I am kin to royalty in Feathers Royal, the ruling family in At Her Service. The prince in that book is my cousin, all right, a distant cousin several times removed. Still! You should know who am I!

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G is for Grace

I’m growing up and away from who I was. I’m not sure if I want to. I want to continue to have adventures with Theodora Bear, like Princess Grace in Mother Morisot’s stories. I want to stop my sister, Nathalie, from being taken away. I don’t want Maia, Nathalie’s fiancee, to turn into Iama the Terrible. She’s stopped enjoying things. I don’t want to stop, but sometimes it feels like I have to. Maybe I need a holiday miracle, a little magic. See if one isn’t waiting for me in Wind Me Up, One More Time…

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F is for Fidessa

Enchantress, sorceress, weaver of fate, crafter of dreams and nightmares; I may claim to be all of these things. The magic of Lumiere flows through me; enabling to touch them, shaping the objects which defy its flow.

Others aren’t worthy of this land, something they prove in so many ways.

I try to show this to my beloved Amberwyne, my charge and student. She is mine to protect, to keep from unsuitable company. Alas, she found unsuitable company entirely too alluring. She chose it over mine.

I’ve been striving to show her the error of her ways in various forms, yet I learned the truth of Lumiere and the curses I’ve inflicted upon those who do not love her as I do.

Lumiere doesn’t exist. It’s nothing but a fictional location, created by a creature more diabolical than any enchantress. She’s known as a Game Master. She and her circle, known as players; created me as well, along with Amberwyne and every other living being in this land.

If this Game Master, this Beatrix thinks she can play with our lives with the roll of some dice, she’s going to learn that I can play with her as well.

This game is about to become much more interesting.

E is for Emma

I sought for who I was in writing. All that mattered were the hours writing in my favorite coffee house, trying to get away from the world, strugging to create the perfect story.

Was that truly all? Esther Sinclair is the only person who can see me. It can’t be a coincidence that she’s also the girl I never dared to love in life.

Leaving the coffee house I haunt is dangerous. Soul Takers wait for me, whenever I apparate elsewhere. They’ve caught my scent. Judging from their monstrous visages behind their claims of offering salvation, the last thing I want is for them to catch me.

My time as a ghost is running out. If only I could figure out what to do with that time, how to move forward. It’s a lot harder to do, once you’re dead.

D is for Danyel

Who am I? Who is Danyel. Twin. Brother. Son. We live in a cottage with Leiwell and Map, Tayel and I. No one visits the empty field and forest, the neighboring garden with the ruined tower overlooking us all. Why are we here alone? Map says she’s protecting us. Leiwell says the same thing, every night he slips out to serve his lord. Where does he go? Up to the tower? No one can possibly live there, yet it feels like it’s watching us. Why do we have this garden, yet my brothers and I eat so little, sustaining each other with our company? Map warns us to eat more, so we’ll be more solid and real, connected to the world. She can eat more than any of us. What is this world she speaks of? I only know of it in stories, the few books Map brings to us. One of them is about Ashleigh, Ashleigh Beyond the Door, our other mother. We’ve never met her, yet we look like her. We’ve known no mother, except Map. Sometimes the air whispers to us. Sometimes I dream of other people, in other places. What does it all mean? Tayel warns me not to ask questions. Every question opens a Door. Something might come through that Door we don’t like. Isn’t possible for us to walk through that Door? It seems like I’ve been waiting for the right Door to walk through. Tayel is terrified it’ll take me away. I’m terrified, too, but I’m also curious. I can’t help being curious, even if it isn’t wise.

C is for Cinders

There’s one too many Ariellas in our family estate, even if it’s the name my mother gave me. I’d rather be Cinders while sitting in those very cinders, leaving the drafty chateau to my angry, ambitious stepmother. She claims the only true Ariellas are herself and her daughter. Her daughter can have my name, along with anything else she wants of me. Ever since she stood up to her mother for my sake, I’ve been willing to give her anything. I live for the days I tickle her feet into their glass slippers, stroking her ankles.

How can my mistress, my Ariella think I’d prefer a prince to her? The prince is not my reason for wanting to go to his ball. If only I had an opportunity to show her my true motivation for wishing to attend. If only I could show her.

B is for Byron

All I can claim is the name of poet from a lost world outside Paradise, as does Shelley. Those names shape us, giving our voices strength. For we cannot keep ourselves or each other. Our songs belong to the grim city of Paradise. Our voices are but part of a heavenly choir, raised for the glory of Goddess.

We cannot help trying to claim our voices, allowing them to become one. The forbidding face of Paradise will not allow it.

We are cast out into the arms of Ruthvyn, one of the pale lords. In his labyrinth, his palace; we lose sight of each other. We lose ourselves again and again.

We may become nothing but dolls and toys, as his other songbirds and pets have.

I must reforge myself into something stronger, something I can use. I must become someone who find a way out of the maze of our lord’s estate, which is as much a part of our minds.

He’s already shaping us into what he wills. If he does, all we ever could have been will be his.

Paradise and Lord Ruthvyn have claimed so much of Shelley and I. I sense with all my being this claim is theft, no matter what powers sternly chastise me with the gospel that we belong to ourselves.

I will not let them steal the future, or our dream of freedom. I will cling onto them with every shred of the self I fight to maintain.

No matter what madness tries to warp me, I will hold on.

A is for Amberwyne

I used to know who I was. Beloved student of a powerful sorceress. Eager to serve. Eager to learn.

A taste of her jealousy and anger directed at an artist whom I did no more than smile at drew me away.

Her curses pursued me, lying in wait upon a journey I felt compelled to take.

I was compelled. Compelled by my creator. Compelled by the dice.

For my companions and I are nothing more than the creations in a game, an opportunity to roleplay and express the passions lurking in their hearts.

I’ve tasted the passion in my creatrix’s heart. I exist, because of her.

I want to help her express this passion. I want to help her live her dreams.

Perhaps I should resent being part of her game, as Fidessa does. She’s determined to strike out at these girls who created us, particularly the Game Master who designed her.

I feel that the players are the thing, what makes us important. I want to use my connection to my player, Rhane, to help her. To save her from the curse my sorceress has put upon her dice.

She’s not the only one who can use the dice’s rolls to their advantage in this game. She’s not the only one who can reach out of our imaginary world to touch our creators.

I just hope Rhane listens when I do.

At Her Service

I knelt at my mistress’s knee and reached out to touch the jutting nob of ankle, allowing my fingers to run over the soft flesh that covered the hardness. I drew her foot toward the waiting glass slipper.

Prepare to be enchanted...

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It's Coming: Blogging From AZ April Project 2025

The time is coming once again. Time for the waters of the Formerly Forbidden Cauldron to flow, in anticipation of Blogging From AZ: April Project 2025.

The theme for this year is: Who Am I?

Once again, it will be about my characters. They won’t always be the same who’ve visited, although some are. Once again, each character’s name will begin with a corresponding letter, going through the alphabet.

Every day one will appear; every day except Sunday. Every day a character appears; they will answer the question: Who am I?

This will be easier for some characters than others. Some of my creations have more focus, a more solid sense of self. Others will struggle to find out the answer.

It will be a journey of self-discovery for my characters; both here and at the Cauldron of Eternal Inspiration at inspirationcauldron.wordpress.com.

I welcome you to join us on this journey.