Quartz: What? Had you forgotten me already? That fool of a scribbler who created me almost did. Such a shame…I’m not going away that easily.
Claude: (looking down his long nose) Are you here to speak of yourself, dwarf? Or to interview me?
Quartz: (grumbles under his breath) I’m not sure why I bothered. (louder) Here we are, at the Forbidden Cauldron, or K.S. Trenten’s Facebook Author Page, depending on which of these bloody social media you’re currently using. Quartz, unappreciated secondary character of Fairest is here, talking with Claude, another unappreciated secondary character from our scribbler’s upcoming release, At Her Service.
Claude: (somberly) No one appreciates what I do for the country or for my Lady Ariella. She could have been a queen, if she’d let me handle everything.
Quartz: Eh, you can’t trust a queen. Not ever. Nor a woman who wants to be queen. It seems to me your lass has some sense in her head if she’s thinking twice about it.
Claude: (nostrils flaring in outrage) What would *you* know about it? You are no queen!
Quartz: (undaunted, beard bristling) What of it? Neither are you!
Claude: (taking a deep breath) I might have become a queen, if circumstances were different. If my scribbler had written a different backstory for me. Or any backstory.
Quartz: Yes, well, she’s unreliable like that…wait a minute, you’re a queen? (inches away) You don’t know Oriana by any chance?
Claude: (blinks) No, I’ve never met her. Should I?
Quartz: Well, maybe not. We’re in completely different universes even if we both have the same publisher.
Claude: Hmmph. (lifting his chin) I can’t imagine this Oriana is much of anyone if I’ve never heard of her. I’ve heard of *everyone* remotely important.
Quartz: (making a hrrumphing sound) Right. You’re so well connected, you’re a secondary character.
Claude: (widening his eyes in outrage) Don’t underestimate the importance of a secondary character! We see things, notice things, and move the plot forward in ways the main character cannot comprehend!
Quartz: We do? (it’s his turn to blink and consider the other’s words) Actually, we do, don’t we?
Claude: Don’t ever depreciate your value as a secondary character, dwarf. Not ever.
Quartz: (mutters) You manage to say encouraging things in the most irritating way…all right, you’ve got a point. Maybe your lady has one, eh?
Claude: Whatever do you mean?
Quartz: Your lady. Think about it. Think about her. She might have bloody good reasons for not wanting to take the throne. Think about them.
Claude: (mutters) And her name is Cinders, not that I’d exactly call *her* a good reason…
Quartz: Maybe not. Is this Cinders her only reason? Think about it.
Claude: It’s all I ever do…(he does look a little pensive)
Quartz: While you’re doing that, is there anything else you want to say? Our scribbler has got places to go and things to do…as usual.
Claude: At Her Service will be appearing in Once Upon a Rainbow 2. Come and read our story. Bask in my lady’s beauty, grace, and wit. Try not to be put off by her eccentric tastes.
Quartz: Eccentric taste in our lads, lasses, and those who aren’t either is one of those quirks we secondary characters learn to put up with. (pats Claude on the shoulder) At least you survive the story.
(Claude doesn’t look appeased).
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