R is for Rhane

Hello, I’m Rhane. Um, the main character in one of our scribbler’s Works in Progress called The Players Are the Thing. That’s what I am, a player in Beatrix’s ongoing roleplaying game. At first I fell madly in love with it, especially my character, Amberwyne. Only Beatrix is getting more and more irritable and the game is becoming less fun. I enjoy having Amberwyne and Isolde flirt with other, but Mona is getting this gleam in her eye which makes me uncomfortable. I have a feeling she’d like to head in a similar direction with me. I’m not sure I want to cheat on Beatrix, not we’re exactly mutually exclusive. Nor are we happy. I try so hard to make Beatrix happy, yet she’s always on edge. We’ve got a new player in the group, playing a former non-player character Beatrix ran called Rhiannon. Rhiannon kept crossing Amber and Isolde’s paths, leaving us unsure whose side she was on. Now Zoe is playing her. I’m not sure if I’m jealous or flustered by Zoe. She seems to really understand Beatrix. Beatrix becomes a bit like her old self when Zoe is around, laughing and talking in an animated, energetic fashion about Rhiannon. I wish that I could talk to someone that way about Amberwyne. I used to be able to with Beatrix, but I haven’t felt the old energy, the easiness between us in a long time. I can’t talk that way with Mona, even if I enjoy roleplaying with her. I’m not sure about Zoe. Everyone is interested in their own characters and why shouldn’t they be? I almost feel like Amber is nudging me from my imagination to encourage my other players to talk about their characters, to talk about themselves. Amber gives me advice I often wish I could follow, even if I’m just imagining it. She’s so much braver, prettier, and more charming that I am. I guess I created her as my ideal, but she shares some of my weaknesses. Once again I feel like she’s whispering to me, urging me to write some of this down. Tell my story. Maybe someone will listen. I love this private messages of hers, even they are imaginary. Perhaps I will try writing some of my thoughts down. See if I can sort my feelings out in story form. The idea appeals to me. It appeals a great deal.