Quartz sits in front of a red curtain facing three little old men, even smaller than himself with long gray beards, tall, pointed red caps, and striped red and white stockings.
One is a little stouter than the others and smiles a little more. The second peeks out with wrinkles around his own bright, mischievous eyes from beneath his cap. The third has no eyes, since the brim of his cap covers them and exceptionally long legs.
Quartz: So it’s you three. You’re back.
Rolf: (He’s the stout, smiling one) Yes. We’ve returned.
Alf: (He’s the one with the bright eyes peeking out beneath the brim of his cap.) With names.
Leif: (He’s the one with no eyes and the longest legs, not to mention the longest gray beard.) Not to mention a more defined sense of self.
Quartz: Huh, that’s why you three look different than when I last saw you.
Rolf: Character development is a wondrous thing.
Alf: Not to mention story revision.
Leif: We still love cats, though. Are Sage and Cinnamon around? (He sniffs the air.)
Quartz: I certainly hope not. Bloody attention grabbers, or perhaps I should say clawers. Particularly that Sage. Enough about the cats. Tell me about you.
Rolf: We’re nisse.
Alf: A sort of sprite or elf from Danish and Norwegian folklore.
Leif: Not that we’re naming any nations in Wind Me Up, One More Time.
Rolf: Not unless our editor wishes us to.
Alf: We have other names in other places.
Rolf: We help with the household chores.
Leif: We don’t like gray caps.
Rolf: We take offense sometimes over matters humans sometimes find strange.
Alf: We tend to be helpful, though.
Leif: We like rice pudding. You didn’t forget the rice pudding again, did you?
Rolf: Don’t worry. Someone will offer us rice pudding if our host doesn’t.
Quartz: Right. I remember that you like your rice pudding only too well, along with cats. So you’re sprites. That makes you Nimmie Not’s cousins. (mutters to himself) That explains a lot.
Rolf: Well, sort of.
Alf: We’re actually dolls.
Leif: Toy reproductions of nisse.
Rolf: Sold in a shop.
Alf: Only we weren’t sold. We were left on a shelf. After Christmas.
Leif: With gray caps!
Rolf: Until we were rescued.
Alf: Spoilers!
Leif: No spoilers.
All three nisse shut up, reach out to pull down their caps and stare at Quartz, except for Leif, who has no eyes.
Quartz: Er, no, you don’t want to give away any spoilers. Is there anything you can give away? I mean say.
Nimmie Not: (his voice comes from behind the curtain) Stop flirting with other sprites!
Quartz: (his nose turns bright red) I’m not!
Rolf: (He smiles at readers) Our story is great for children!
Alf: LGBTQIA+ friendly and G-rated!
Rolf: Read our story for Christmas!
Leif: And try to do something for nisse forced to wear gray caps.
Rolf: Please. It depresses our brethren.
Alf: It isn’t very festive.
Leif: And pet your cats!
Rolf: That’s right!
Alf: Right now!
All three nisse: Pet your cats!
Quartz: Right. I think that’s enough. (He coughs)
Nimmie Not: (A small sprite, yet taller than any of the nisse appears in a cloud of yellow smoke) Now, now, my dear Quartz, be nice to my kinsmen. After all they’re related to me. Sort of.
Quartz: What’s that supposed to mean?
Nimmie Not: Pay no attention to him, good sirs. (He speaks to the three nisse.) Here. A little token of our appreciation and hospitality. (He snaps his fingers.)
Three bowls of rice pudding appear at the feet of each nisse.
Rolf: Now that’s more like it!
Alf: I call that classy!
Leif: Your husband has style, Quartz.
Quartz: He’s not my husband!
Nimmie Not: Now, now, don’t be shy, my dear Quartz! Pay him no mind, gentlemen. Please enjoy your rice pudding. (He rubs his spindly hands together.)
Quartz: Now you just wait one moment-
No one waits. The guests are all too busy lifting their bowls to their mouths and slurping down rice pudding.
Quartz: (grumbling) Can toys actually eat?
Nimmie Not: Oh hush. As you yourself say, all things are possible on the Fourth Wall.
Quartz:…
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