Z is for Zoe

It’s so easy to forget things, to just get lost in the stacks at the library. I don’t recall much of whom I was or where I came from. I’d much rather read other people’s stories, get absorbed in their tales. 

Perhaps I was living in limbo until I saw Rhane Soames. When she walked into the library, something tingled through my body, awakening me to myself and what was round me. I snuck peaks into her crystal blue eyes, distant and dreamy, only to feel a connection to the here and now. To her. 

It took me a long time to dare to speak to her. I followed her to a coffee house and overheard the conversation between her and another girl. What spirit flickered in Rhane’s eyes died around Beatrix, squashed by her girlfriend’s abrasive personality. 

Beatrix complained about a lack of players in their roleplaying game. I stepped up to their table with a boldness I hadn’t realized I possessed and introduced myself as a gamer. 

Beatrix let her dark eyes rove over every inch of me, giving the impression she liked little of what she saw. 

Rhane blinked those wonderful blue eyes at me, taking me in, truly seeing me for the first time. Another electric shock ran through me. 

Beatrix glanced from me to Rhane, frowning, no longer quite certain if the girl she’d taken for granted was truly hers. I sensed Beatrix’s dawning apprehension just as I’d awakened to Rhane’s presence when I first noticed her. 

I wanted a connection with Rhane, but I don’t understand this empathy for Beatrix. It’s not like I want it. She doesn’t either. Perhaps she felt it, too.

Maybe this is why she gave me Rhiannon, whom was formerly a non player character and a favorite of hers. 

Maybe this is why I accepted Rhiannon rather than creating a character of my own. 

Once Rhiannon became mine, everything changed. I found myself talking to Rhiannon in my head, dreaming about her. She told me Amberwyne and the other characters wanted to free Rhane and their players from the terrible Game Master. 

Only the Game Master wasn’t truly terrible. There was more to Beatrix than the bitter, angry woman she’d become. We had to help her appreciate life and those around her more. She’d be a better person if she did. 

Rhiannon and I have been adding twists to the game, under the guise of plot complications. Rhiannon understand what Beatrix enjoys, how to play to her tastes, sparking her weary interest  in Game she’s only going through the motions with. 

It’s true. Beatrix thinks the Game is all she cares about she, but she’s grown bored with it. She’s lost interest in it along with everything else. She’s taking her boredom out on Rhane. 

This I won’t tolerate. If she keeps it up, I’ll take Rhane from her. Perhaps Beatrix will only realize what an amazing girlfriend she has if I do. Only I may not give Rhane back if she turns to me. Why should I help Beatrix just because I understand her? Don’t Rhane and I enjoy a chance at happiness, too? 

Rhiannon wants me to get Beatrix to appeciate the good things in life, to save her if I can. This will only work if Beatrix wants to be saved. 

I’m not sure if I want to save her. Why should Beatrix get to keep Rhane, the life she has, if she’s stupid enough to grow bored of both?

Maybe she doesn’t deserve either. 

Rhiannon wants me to help Beatrix become a better person, but she’s had her chance at a life. She’s making Rhane miserable. Why should Rhane stay with her? Why should any of her players if Beatrix cares so little for either them or the Game?

I care about it. I’m listening to Beatrix’s former character. I’m getting more and more involved with the players and our characters. Neither Rhiannon nor myself care much for Isolde. Mona, Isolde’s player isn’t sure what to make of us. Mona seems to fancy Rhane herself, but she lacks the guts to stand up to Beatrix, to tell Beatrix off when she’s wrong. 

Beatrix holds an almost sinister emotional grip on both Rhane and Mona, draining them of their spirit, their nerve. 

I’m not sure if our Game Master isn’t a lost cause.