I hope she's happy to see that it inspired a freebie story involving her favorite dwarf, written from the perspective of the youngest brother of that dwarf. I'm thinking of working this into Of Cuckoo Clocks and Crystal Coffins...
They knew we were there. I could feel their beady eyes, staring from under folds of friendly flesh, still and posed upon the lawn. Just as a pose, just as their faces were just masks.
“Quartz.” I didn’t want to argue with our eldest brother, especially in front of the prancing stranger, the odd little man, who skipped and smirked at my brothers and myself like all of us were his business, particularly Quartz! Problem was the figures on the lawn alarmed me far more than he did. “I don’t think we should stay here.”
“Oh ho, you don’t think you should stay here, don’t you?” The strange little man who’d guided my brothers and myself out of the mountain spun on one slippered heel, bell jingling on his toe as he did. “Pray tell, little dwarf, why not?”
“Stop that.” Quartz moved, so his solid, thick bulk stood between me and the stranger. He turned to face me, giving our guide a glower before he did. “Go on, Garnet. What’s wrong?”
“Those tiny people in front of the cottage make me…uneasy.” I glanced at the plump, smiling faces, which were just masks. I was sure of it. One of the rosy cheeks had slipped down a bit, revealing green scales underneath. Another showed a hint of fang in an otherwise jovial bearded smile. “They’re pretending to look like us, but they’re not what they seem.”
“What pretenders are these?” Jasper looked around the grass and rubbed his hands, not seeming to notice the silent figures.
“I don’t see them.” Agate crossed his arms and frowned.
“Nor do I.” Opal shot a scowl at Quartz. “You’d better not be getting Garnet involved in your crystal gazing. You’re addled enough without encouraging him.”
“Addle yourself.” Quartz glowered right back at Opal, his gaze flickering and gliding off one of the squat figures on the grass growing up to the cottage porch.
How could my brothers miss these creatures? All right, they weren’t as colorful as our skinny guide, but they were wearing bright red caps, even if their coats were grayish green. Not to mention they were standing in front of us.
“I’m telling you they’re right here!” One round figure raised plump arms, twirling around, flaring full skirts to expose thick boots. A bearded fellow caught her around the waist, holding her as she spun. Neither of them took their beady eyes off of me. “They’re watching us right now!”
“Oh ho! Lots of things watch you in the Forest of Tears!” Our odd little guide waved a bony finger at me. “You’ll just have to get used to it.”
“Right.” Quartz glanced down at his beard, smoothing it, avoiding the sharp glances of the creatures on the grass. “Unless we leave and return to the mountains.”
“What?” Our guide balled his hands into fists. “You strike a successful bargain with me, winning this lovely cottage as result, you plod all this distance down here, only to plod back?!”
“Keen to keep us here, aren’t you?” Quartz raised an eyebrow. “Just what is my little brother seeing which no one else can? And why shouldn’t we just plod off if he’s uncomfortable?”
“Oh, I’m certain you can see what Garnet does if you really wish to, Quartz.” The little man dropped his fists to leer at my eldest brother. “Unlike that one, who couldn’t if he tried.” He waved a dismissive hand at Opal. “Some are simply more sensitive than others.” The stranger spun around on his slippered heel only to stop in front of me, the bell on his toe jingling with menacing glee. “Your youngest brother still has an innocent and open heart, which allows him to see all sorts of things eager to make sport of him.” The little man winked at me. “Better close that sharp eye before it sees too much, don’t you think?”
“How-?” I was on the verge of asking how to do that, when Quartz whacked me across the head.
“Enough! Ask that and this one will expect you to pay the price for his answer, no matter how worthless it might be.” My older brother glowered at our guide. “Stop messing with my family, Nimmie Not.”
Nimmie Not? Now that was a peculiar name for a peculiar fellow. I wondered how Quartz had learned our guide’s name.
Not that Nimmie Not was happy about his name being shared.
“Really, Quartz, no need to go blurting out names, even if they’re not true names.” The little man pouted, his pointed ears flapping. They stuck out to a ridiculous degree, something I hadn’t noticed, being distracted by Nimmie Not’s bells. And his slippers. And his cap. And his waistcoat. And his, well, everything.
“Don’t remember you asking or even suggesting secrecy about what to call you.” Quartz crossed his arms. “Besides, I’m only telling my plodding brothers, right?”
“Oh, all right. The seven of you will be living in my cottage after all.” Nimmie Not tapped a finger on his lips, regarding the garden gnomes.
The figures froze in place at his attention, only to bow in courteous deference towards our guide. One by one, they slunk away from the cottage to head into the trees of the surrounding forest. One of them winked at me in a far more suggestive fashion than Nimmie Not had, showing a slitted yellow eye.
I didn’t say anything until he’d followed the others into the trees. Once he did, I exploded.
“What was that?” I trembled all over, ready to run back the way we’d come. “Who were those garden gnomes? What were they doing here?”
“Nothing, they’re nothing, they’re doing nothing, unless you pay them too much attention, little dwarf. If you do, they’ll become true garden gnomes.” Nimmie Not reached out to tickle Quartz’s beard. “Although if you act like your brother here, giving them no attention at all, they might be only too eager to have it.”
“Gah! Get off!” Quartz swatted at Nimmie Not’s hand. “It’s easy to guess someone was there, the way you were acting. Even if I can’t see them.”
“You can’t see them because you’re too stubborn to see, my dear Quartz.” Nimmie Not skipped back, locking his arms behind his back. “Poor Opal could stare and stare, never seeing anything, but you, Quartz, you shut your eyes and ears to anything that doesn’t please you, losing yourself in your beloved crystals.”
“Thank’ee for pointing that out,” Opal grumbled. “Like I don’t have better things to do than stare at strange shapes.”
I flushed a bit at this.
“Actually, you don’t. Take care around things your brothers see, but you don’t.” Nimmie Not wagged his finger in disapproval. “Those things might pop up and bite off your empty head, yes, they might.”
“Just what are you suggesting?” Opal brindled at this, black beard bristling in anger.
“Enough.” Quartz lay a thick hand on our brother’s shoulder. “It’s not worth the sweat, working one up over every moment of supposed cleverness on that one’s part.”
“Why are you defending him?” Opal turned his glower on Quartz. “You’re flirting with him. Again.”
Quartz flirted with someone? Impossible. He never flirted with his brothers and the only other person…hold the boulders! He wasn’t flirting with Nimmie Not, was he?”
“I’m not!” Quartz spluttered, his nose turning red.
“Never fear, brothers mine.” Nimmie Not smoothed the lapels of his waistcoat and smiled at us all. “I intend to take full responsibility.”
Onyx blinked. Sardonyx snorted. Agate let out a rude chuckle. Jasper gazed at all our faces, not quite understanding what was going on. Opal crossed his arms and just stared at Quartz.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Quartz allowed his eyebrows to bristle, so it looked like a hairy caterpillar was ready to crawl off his face into the forest. “Just what responsibility is this?”
“Brothers mine?” Opal looked from Quartz to Nimmie Not. “When did this happen?”
Onyx cocked his head. Sardonyx shuffled where he stood. Agate smirked and crossed his arms, mimicking Opal. Jasper opened his mouth and closed it.
As for me, I could feel my nose heating up. I mean, Nimmie Not had only just met my brother. He couldn’t mean what I thought he did. Did he?
“Nothing happened!” Quartz growled, but his nose looked even redder than mine felt.
“It’s happening now. I’ll work on it, via a dream here, and something there.” Nimmie Not reached out to pat Opal’s arm. “Fear not. I’m a gentleman, unlike most garden gnomes.” He withdrew his hand to wag a finger at me. “I’d watch that sweet little dwarf if I were you. The forest denizens seem to find him entirely too delectable.”
Quartz cocked his head at me. Opal turned his disapproving stare in my direction. Onyx studied me in silence. Sardonyx made a huffing sound, which might have been a laugh. Agate covered his red-whiskered sneer with one hand. Jasper gazed at me in almost reproachful surprise.
I opened my mouth to protest, only to have a single sound escape. “Gah!”
“Too adorable, you truly take after Quartz.” Nimmie Not danced a few steps back from all of us, tapping his weathered cheek with a bony finger. “So nice that one of your brothers is amusing, although I’m just about worn out.”
He spun on one heel. “Make yourselves at home, my dear dwarves. I’ll come back once you do something interesting.”
Nimmie Not disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
“I knew it,” Opal growled, waving the smoke away. “Kobold. Nothing but trouble.”
“We’ve only just met him and no sense borrowing more trouble than we’ve already brought.” Quartz coughed, also waving away the smoke.
Onyx rubbed his eyes. Sardonyx sneezed and rubbed his nose. Agate made a face at him. Jasper blinked in fascination at the fading yellow haze.
“Was he really a kobold?” He looked from Quartz to Opal. “We’ve never met one before.”
“We may have, but they didn’t necessarily let on they were a kobold.” Quartz heaved a sigh. “Nimmie Not is the first to come out to us as himself, so to speak.”
“So to speak.” Opal raised a black brow at Quartz. “He could have stuck around to show us around this cottage we’ve supposed to live in.”
“Never mind Nimmie Not. I’ve had just about enough of his guidance.” Quartz stomped up to the door, ignoring the smirks aimed in his direction. “It should be unlocked.”
“Told you, did he?” Agate grinned as if he were a kobold himself, smoothing his ginger whiskers. They were much redder than mine, something he never let me forget. “Thoughtful of him.”
“Don’t start,” Quartz warned, opening the door to our new home.
All of us stomped inside the cottage except for me.
“Garden gnomes,” I whispered, glancing into the trees where said creatures had vanished. “You may know we’re here, but I know you’re here as well.”
The words didn’t come out nearly as brave as I’d hoped they would.
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