Quartz: So I understand you’re the mouse who would be king?
Cheesecurd: (pauses in nibbling on the seat he’s almost invisible in) Who else is going to do it since Mousetrick scampered off with his tail between his legs? Say, you got any cheese? Maybe gingerbread? All this gabbing is tiring.
Quartz: You’ve only just started gabbing.
Cheesecurd: Exactly. I’m not sure why you understand me. I don’t have that weird gift Madam Mousenip and Mousetrick have of understanding other animals, particularly humans.
Quartz: Well, I’m a dwarf. I also have some, well, odd acquaintances. Maybe they’ve taught me a few tricks. (mutters) Even though it’s the first I’ve heard of it.
Cheesecurd: (yawns) I’m tired. Is this interview over yet? Why am I doing it?
Quartz: You wanted to complain about Mousetrick, right? The main character in your story, Seven Tricks.
Cheesecurd: Don’t know what Madam Mousenip saw in him. Falling in love with one of those human giants or was it one of their toys? Whatever. It didn’t get me or any other mouse any extra food.
Quartz: Didn’t it? I thought this human of Mousetrick’s gave him cheese.
Cheesecurd: Well, that greedy excuse of a prince didn’t share it with me. He also lured us into a trap baited with drugged gingerbread. Stupid Mousetrick.
Quartz: Eh? Didn’t he try to convince you not to eat the gingerbread?
Cheesecurd: Too little effort, too late. I wouldn’t have gone near that gingerbread if Mousetrick hadn’t asked me to.
Quartz: He took you somewhere with such dangerous sweets?
Cheesecurd: Told me and countless others of our kind that there were crumbs on the floor where he was going. Stupid Mousetrick.
Quartz: As opposed to you, eh?
Cheesecurd: Well, I don’t get all riled up over nutcrackers. Nor do get sleepy cats worked into a right frenzy.
Quartz: Oh, ho, he ticked off some cats?
Cheesecurd: Got their whiskers in a right twist. Those pusses hunted all over the floor and in every corner for days. All because of one of his stupid tricks.
Quartz: That’s right, the seven tricks to become the mouse king. Care to offer any hints what your tricks might be?
Cheesecurd: Huh?
Quartz: Well, you’ll have to come up with some, won’t you? In order to win the crown?
Cheescurd: Meh, life’s too short. I’m not doing them.
Quartz: Eh?
Cheesecurd: Mousetrick agreed to do them to impress Madam Mousenip. I’m not going to bother.
Quartz: Don’t you have to bother if you want to rule?
Cheesecurd: You see any other mouse that wants the throne? Did any mouse character besides Mousetrick, Madam Mousenip or myself even get a name? It’s going to be me.
Quartz: Is that so?
Cheesecurd: And once I’m the mouse king, there’ll be some changes around the warren. Plenty of food, shredded paper, and no more being clever to get them.
Quartz: How d’ye propose to get these things without being clever?
Cheesecurd: Eh, I’ll just make some other mouse worry about getting them.
Quartz: (mutters) Sometimes I wonder if there’s a general decline of responsibility in those who seek power. All right, that’s it from Cheesecurd. Thank you for stopping by.
Cheesecurd: Zzz…(he’s gone to sleep on the shredded pillow of the virtual chair)
Quartz: I also wonder if there isn’t a reason some secondary characters remain secondary. (pinches himself) Never thought I’d say that.
Cheesecurd: Zzz…
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