What? What are you looking at me? I’m too short and fat to stare at! Go stare at someone prettier, you moron! Yes, I live in an old cottage, with nothing but woods, fields, and my garden. No, I hadn’t forgotten the ruined tower on the hill, within walking distance of my home. I wish I could, but it looms over everything. No, I don’t remember the village, which was stood on this spot. That village burned a hundred years ago. Yes, my name is Map. No, I’m not the Map, who was the last resident in this village, before it was destroyed. Just because I have the same name as she doesn’t mean we’re the same person. No, I didn’t call the lightning down upon the tower, setting fire to the village, if you’re mad enough to think anyone has that kind of power. Don’t let your imagination run away with you. One would think you were one of my sons, believing such nonsense. My sons? The tall, dark, and handsome young man, who’s always taking too much on himself is my eldest, Leiwell. He’s got two little brothers, my younger sons, the twins. Danyell and Dayell are their names. You couldn’t find sweeter, or prettier boys, but their imaginations are so wild, they’re almost out of control. No, they look nothing like me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them, as if they were my own! Where’s their real mother and father? It’s none of your concern! You want to know all about us, you read ‘The Hand and the Eye of the Tower’. Yes, it used to be called ‘Stealing Himself From Shadows’, until our author decided to revise her original manuscript, ‘Stealing Myself From Shadows’ during National Novel Writing Month. I’m in that book, too. There was a lot of cross over and even similiar scenes in ‘Stealing Myself From Shadows’ and ‘Stealing Himself From Shadows’, but my author decided the two titles were too much alike. My sons’ story is now called ‘The Hand and the Eye of the Tower’. Yes, I’m also in its sequel, ’A Godling for Your Thoughts?’ You want to know more about these books? Go bother my author about them! Maybe she’ll finally finish ‘A Godling for Your Thoughts?’, if you do. It’s about time she fixed up ‘Stealing Myself From Shadows’ and ‘The Hand and Eye of the Tower’! They should have been published, by now, but no! Our author has to keep putting us aside, to work on ‘Fairest’, submissions, or anything, but our stories! Do you know how tiring it is, dealing with a distracted author? No, I’m not going to tell you about it! Go away and stop bothering me!