Monday, April 10, 2023

H is for Harold and Hector


Who is the Fairest of them all? It is I, Lord Harold Vinegarten, second cousin to the Lady of Clear Meadow on my mother’s side, second cousin to King Harold of Feathers Royal on my father’s side, heir to one of the most ancient families in the queendom of Dawn and Twilight. I mean kingdom! What’s all this nonsense my cousin blathers about our realm being created by two queens who fell in love? Such perversity to protect a princess’s perversity. Just because the Princess Rose is pretty, she has her way with a woman and a witch instead of marrying a fine man who’ll help her get over all that nonsense. How can she not want to marry me? I’m the best cure imaginable for all of that…what did you say? That dwarf over there has access to treasure? A lot of treasure? Do you think he’d be interested in a husband? How’s my hair?


Why I have to share a blog with that insufferable fop is beyond me. Why, I am Hector, prince and hero of Troy. I am the mightiest warrior standing between Troy and the Achaen louts. I will show no mercy upon them, no matter how much they whine that my brother stole their bride. To think their mightiest hero dares to woo my little brother? Not Paris, the one that ran off with Helen. Troile. He’s worth ten of Paris, even if he is a headstrong young fool. I’d better not catch him encouraging that brute Achille. What’s all this about Aissa and Polyxena? A couple of wayward maids Cressida has formed an attachment to? Why should I care about them? What does this have to do with Troile? My little brother had better not do anything silly or I’ll lock him up. Why do my brothers have to bring such shame upon me? Why do I bear the burden of their folly? No good will come of this, I’m sure.

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